It’s sad watching smart women overwhelmed and exhausted in their role as a mother, caregiver, wife and more. Especially when **I know** there’s no reason for it. I know, I’ve been there – and being an amazing mother (woman) doesn’t have to feel that way.
Here are 8 foundational ways to move from overwhelm and into order, shifting your world towards a you that YOU get to choose.
- Lead with your YES – what’s yours?
So many moms are too quick to give away their YES’s to almost anyone who asks. Then, we run ourselves to the bone with to-do-lists. When this happens, we dim the light on our enthusiasm for living as we pile on even bigger loads to our already full plates.
You know who you are and so do the people who ask you for things. The truth is, we’re programmed to take care of people from the moment we give birth and we get in the ‘habit’ of doing more and more and more as time goes by, and before you know it, the lines get blurred. We’re saying yes to too many things, and I know this because it nearly destroyed me. Here’s what I learned the hard way:
Only our kids get to lay claim on us. Everyone else? That’s for us to decide.
Stand in allegiance with yourself by leading with your YES. Get clear on who and what you’re saying YES to, and then it gets easier to say NO.
- Your YES is in your unique song.
There’s a lot of noise in this world. It’s not hard to walk into an actual noisy room, a virtual one, or simply hearing the noise of daily living. The amount of competing voices out there is overwhelming at any given moment. Unfortunately, many of us have gotten into the habit of letting them in and it’s creating a static in our lives that makes it nearly impossible to hear our own inner voices unless we make it an intention to tune-in and listen regularly.
In truth, we can’t live a life on our terms if we can’t tune in long enough to hear our unique song for living a life in harmony. And when we move through our days without clear intentions in our days – living from that inner song – we drain ourselves, because our signal isn’t clear.
Learning to connect and align our lives to an inner compass is about finding harmony between our inner world and our outer world. When we hear our song and the signal is strong, that informs how we show up to interact with the world around us.
- Quiet the static to lose the doubt and gain clarity.
Practices that strengthen our inner song and send out a strong inner signal cultivates our leader within. We know there’s competing noise in us and around us. It’s just a fact of life. Some days, weeks, and even months are going to be louder than others. It’s up to us develop the practices that keep us tuned in to ourselves first. Yes first. Because when you get to show up as your best, everyone else benefits.
By honoring our need for quiet moments, creating space to connect inwardly, we can tune in and listen to our wise-inner-self. She knows a lot of things to keep you strongly rooted in a life you want. Strengthening your inner signal to keep it clear from static, directly influences what comes out from us and how we show up in the world.
- Quiet your inner critic and gain inner peace.
When life is draining you, are you happy with what comes out? Because we have the control to alter what comes out by bringing awareness to the voices in our head and the thoughts that follow. To put it bluntly, the voices in your head are often a bunch of liars acting from fear. They stem from our subconscious mind and can keep us stuck or drained.
The good news is you can do something about it by never leaving your thoughts unattended. Self-sabotage can be deceptive and filled with false information. You are not just the sum of your thoughts. Human beings have something called metacognition, which means we can have a thought AND observe the thought at the same time. That means we get to discern where the thought is stemming from if it’s true, and what we want to do about it.
You don’t like your thoughts? Choose a new one. Your wise-self knows what’s best. Listen for her whispers the next time your inner critic is rambling on.
- Are you a colander or a watering can?
Setting boundaries around your most precious resources allows you to determine where you focus your investments. Do you let them run out indiscriminately (like a colander) or control the flow like a watering can?
Change your actions and not yourself by managing your inner resources. It’s a wise investment in you. By focusing on what’s important and concentrating your resources on what matters, you get to choose where they go and yield the returns you want. Good boundaries let you achieve this result.
- Thermostat or thermometer?
Do you react to the temperature or do you set it? Kids, work, spouses, and life, in general, all have the capacity to affect how we feel. Do you find yourself reacting and getting all fired up over what life throws at you – like a thermometer? OR do you set the temperature ahead of time – like a thermostat – and keep an even gauge?
Keeping ourselves at the temperature we want is up to us to maintain. When you cultivate the skills of self-care and attunement to you, it becomes easier to do that AND the payoff is HUGE.
Your power lies in your response to any given situation. For example, the kids break something (a ‘thing’ happened) you can choose to react and get all fired up over it OR you can choose to respond in a way that puts things in perspective and keeps you cool as a cucumber. It’s your choice.
Create a space between the ‘thing’ and your action. Build the awareness to harness and cultivate your power of responding rather than reacting. Like it or not, moms set the temperature in the home. If you’re running hot, you’d better believe everyone else knows it. Be like the thermostat in your home and set the temperature to keep you and everyone else comfy cozy.
- Demote your ego and promote your soul.
It’s easy to be seduced by what we see, hear, and experience in the world. If we listen to the messages and requests for our ego’s attention, we will never be or have enough, because there’s always ‘more’ out there to have. Think about all the consumption out in the world. From competitions for goods and services to keeping up with the Jones’s, and saving face. If we look to the outside world and feed our ego’s before we tune-in to feed our souls, we will be primed for suffering.
Promote your soul by discerning how you move through your days, recognizing where your motivation is stemming from, and feeling into your enthusiasm for what you truly want and desire in life. In other words, live your life from the inside-out. This order of importance is no small thing because when you do this, you create a space for true happiness and joy to enter your everyday life.
- Go from judgement to the integrity of who you are.
What we believe is possible we strive for. It’s easy to conjure up ideas (a percieved ideal) in our minds as a benchmark for living. But so many times we are striving for perfection from an idea (ideal) that’s not even real. And if we believe it’s something we can or should have, we will continue to strive for it. That belief fosters a sense of never being enough.
Give yourself permission to be more (than enough) by living in the integrity of who you are. Live a life that’s on your terms, coming from a clear and powerful song and signal from within you, because you have clarity. Then, you can step into your role from a place of honor that you hold for yourself and by extension, others. It’s a win-win.
In closing, please know that you can have a life that’s strongly rooted in YOUR values and purpose. You can give the gifts you were meant to give. You can give from a place within you that feels good to give from because you have an abundance. AND it’s not about doing more, it’s about doing better.
When we learn better, we do better. It’s that simple.
When I learned better, I had a fire ignite in me to share and teach others to do the same. I’m an NLP
Master Practitioner and Certified Integrative Health & Life Coach who teaches and coaches for better. I’m good at helping women balance the needs of a family with their own.
Here’s what I do:
* I teach how small adjustments can make a HUGE difference in how you show up in life.
* I’ll stretch you into new beliefs that quiet your monkey mind.
* I’ll ask you to show up for yourself when you think you can’t, but you will.
* I’ll teach you the art of self-care so you can be a better version of yourself – without apology.
See, I learned that how you feel, is how you show up in life AND you get to choose YOU.
I’m here to get your mind right and your life into shape.
The article you just read is a coaching package I created for Mind Over Motherhood Clarity.
Can I support you through it?