restore JOY ~ reclaim SANITY ~ revitalize Y-O-U

When the Journey Within IS the Road Home – a personal account from this past year

If you want to show up as your best, learn to listen to the ebb and flow of your body.

Learn to build a foundational awareness that starts within you.

We are not here to find ourselves; as if to suggest there’s something “out there” to find. Rather we are here to awaken what’s already in us.

The journey to wholeness, to show up as your best, is the journey within.

It’s been my experience, when outside influences are pressing in on life, and to-do lists are mounting, that it’s easy to slip into overwhelm, feeling like there’s never enough of me to go around. Then, life becomes a fragmented existence and happiness is fleeting. It’s in times like these that it’s critical to check out from outside influences and tune in ** with yourself** long enough for a vital reset to begin.

How long?

Well, that’s up to you.

Here’s what I know from experience…

Because I’m a work in progress like the rest of us, life’s not perfect, nor should we expect it to be. The holidays took a toll on me this year. Not because of the pressure to buy copious amounts of gifts, but because it was a cause to pause and evaluate where I was. To really stop and take notice. Kind of like buttoning up and inventorying all that happened throughout the year. And it was during that week between Christmas and New Year’s that’s I realized how very tired, I was.

With our big move in mid- August came a new house, community, schools, you name it, life got to be very busy and very different from the ‘norm’. Good, but different. So much so that my anchoring habits for self-care were challenged, because the auto-pilot I rely on couldn’t get seated into position for navigation on a regular basis and I was flying in uncharted territory.

For me, home is everything. I work from home, I love to ‘nest’ myself with beautiful things, I love to create, I love to cook nourishing meals for my family, and so on… But this past year, my home of 22+ years was relocated to a different state. My home schooled kids were off to public school. It was a BIG change.

We moved for all the right reasons.

And things were good, until they weren’t.

Here’s what happened…

Because I’m a creature of habit (we all are), most of life runs on auto-pilot. It’s a good thing really, because if we had to ‘think’ about every decision we made throughout each and every day, we couldn’t function in our modern lives. Our brains remember our patterns and repetitive tasks and help us to do things without much thought needed for a task – our habits.

We build our lives on habits and they make it easier.

I know this well.

But it didn’t stop me from stumbling.

All of the changes were just too much for me to fly safely under the radar of my monkey mind before the alarms went off in my head. I couldn’t think straight on some days. I couldn’t find my peace as readily. I was feeling less than enough in many spaces of my life. AND not at all satisfied in how I was showing up for myself and my family on a consistent basis.

I knew during that holiday week it was time to tune in and turn on my inner resources of time, energy, and attention for me ~ with purpose.

Good self-caring practices always translate into self-preservation.

For me, that meant going back to my own teachings I forgot to unpack and practice with all earnestness along the way. To remember to release expectations, relinquish my guilt of not enoughness, and take the time to sit in quiet solace.

In an esoteric sense, it’s like a remembering ** and re-membering ** as I felt (still feel) fragmented from my parts. I want to become whole again.

I want things to be right – and flow.

Because I’m tired of the ebb.

A long ebb because I didn’t allow a new rhythm to establish for flow.

It took the quieting down of the holidays to bring to light the need for me to prioritize my own wellbeing.

When I knew with clarity, it was time for a correction.

So, I anchored down and started anew with my habits of daily wellness practices. The ones that keep me upright and steady in my own life.

I’m building the awareness of being present in-the-moment-to-moment of daily living. Focusing in on the next new right steps to take each day. Releasing expectations. Exhaling to a slower and steadier pace. Allowing myself grace to be real and lose any fake ‘ideals.’ Giving myself renewed permissions to be more (than enough) in my life. Celebrating the small stuff – it’s SOooo about the little things.

How does this all translate?

It’s not about doing more, it’s about doing better.

Motherhood, care-giving, and all our demands can challenge and put obstacles in our paths. Life is not always easy and that’s just life. But what’s important to know is this: you still get to choose YOU.

2019-01-11T18:38:51+00:00